Since today is a holiday, let’s take over UH for a day. Here’s the plan:
• With Don Murphy taking (at least) a one-year break from running the Pigskin Pigout, UH is searching for a backup plan. One idea being floated is a telethon. Uh, no. That’s one step from standing at intersections with fishing nets. So how about reviving the Pigskin Pigout? But instead of a pricey event, throw a party. For a $10 entry fee, the Stan Sheriff Center becomes a club. There will be music and dancing. Profits — which will go to Na Koa — will come from sales of refreshments and pupus. And old RainBowTique items and (gently used) uniforms can be sold on the side.
• Sure, there’s supposed to be some sort of rule — which I’ve never actually read, by the way — that limits or bans media guides being distributed to recruits. The guides, in fact, are really yearbooks. So why not publish the guides but only make them available for sale? Or …
• … what about producing a video yearbook? It could include highlights, interviews and more highlights. It’s not a guide, technically, so, hey, if it ends up in a recruit’s mailbox.
• We keep hearing about the Big Ten channel and Texas channel and … boooring. How about starting a Warrior channel? With the KFVE-Oceanic arrangement nearing the complicated stage, it would be the perfect time to take advantage of KFVE’s vault of UH videos. If not, create a Warrior-on-Demand channel, in which fans can purchase replays of past UH sporting events. And they don’t even have to be games that UH won. Wouldn’t you like to see the game in which Jim McMahon had that dazzling punt? Or to watch Marshall Faulk run? Or to see the BYU game in which a fight in the stands resulted in an entire section getting pepper sprayed?
• Sell ringtones of the narration of UH’s biggest events: Joe Correia’s sack against Fresno State in 1999; Colt’s decision to return to UH for his senior season; Riley interrupting the news conference to fire Wagner. At least it will put a smile on your face when an annoying co-worker is calling while Leahey’s voice booms: “How … sweet … it .. is.”
• It’s inevitable. Some guy is going to have a few too many, and crash the car leaving a UH sports event. Let’s set up a taxi stand, just like at the airport. And, just like at the airport, put out the taxi rights to bid.
• Sure, everybody wants to relive their youth. The answer? Fantasy football camp. For the campers, there will be meetings, video sessions and practices. Camp concludes with a 15-minute game at halftime of a real UH football game. And a former coach, like Bob Wagner, can serve as the camp’s head coach. Profits, of course, go to Na Koa.
• Everybody wants an exclusive fitness club. Welcome to the Warrior Club. For a fee, Regular Joes can have access to the UH weight room. Proceeds go to the UH conditioning program.
• Set up a volunteer bureau. Schools, community centers, etc. can submit requests for speakers. A signup sheet is posted, and student-athletes can pick an event in which to participate. It would be part of their education. If you aspire a career in social work, communications or education, what better training than speaking to youths?